Overcoming guilt day five

Sometimes we think we have a hard time overcoming guilt in life because other people won't let us move on. Jesus plainly said, "Judge not lest ye be Judge." That sentence is self explanatory. Jesus goes on to say, "With the same measure that you judge others, so will you be judged." That is pretty plain spoken too. Jesus is saying that you will be judged only as harsh as you judge others. Are you wanting God to go easy on you? If so, than you are required to go easy on others in this life time. Often people want to judge others harshly because they think it elevates themselves. There are those who say, "We aren't judging them as a person, only their actions." Only God knows what or who we are judging. My observations have been that those who 'preach against a certain sin' as a theme of their lives are often guilty of committing that sin on a personal level themselves.



While you should expect others to forgive you of your past, you should not expect them to trust you until you have earned their trust. Now, I know that last statement really hurts, and sometimes we don't want to hear it but it is the truth. Forgiveness is a gift, it is not earned. God grants us forgiveness freely, and he also ask us to forgive others freely, forgiveness is a gift. Trust on the other hand is earned. Someone may say, "if they truly forgave me than they would trust me again." No, that is not true. Forgiveness means I will overlook what you did in the past without holding you to punishment for that sin. Trust, however, impacts the future, not the past. I can forgive you of what you did in the past but at the same time hold out on trusting you, until you have proven yourself in the future. Trust has to be earned, trust is not a free gift. Forgiveness is a free gift, but trust is not free, it has to be earned.



It is wise to forgive someone, but, it is also wise to wait until they have earned trust before you trust them again. Earning trust takes alot of time, it can't be rushed. Time will heal all things, but only if we put time to good use. If we don't use our time to do right living than we injure our selves further. Here is an example: A man tells his kids he will take them to the park, but, he does not show up. The kids forgive him yes, but trust is broken. The kids faith in their dad can be restored if he makes more promises and KEEPS them. In time, they will forget about that disappointment with the park. However if he ask his kids to keep faith in him, but keeps making promises and only fulfills a few of them, they will not trust their dad and eventually they will also struggle with passing out the free gift of forgiveness as well. I don't see in the Bible where God commands us to trust one another. We are commanded to love one another, but to trust God.



Sometimes we get a chip on our shoulder because when others show us that they don't really trust us, we think that they haven't really forgiven us. Trust is not guaranteed, nor is it free. There are some crimes that are commited, that some people may never trust you again. That doesn't always mean that they have not forgiven you. For instance in matters of sexual sins trust is often hard to get back a second time. If someone has an affair, or engages in sex acts with a kid, or steals another's money, or kills someone, takes drugs, the more serious of crimes and sins, many people may choose not to fully trust the offender again. Forgiveness is free, but trust is earned. It is not wise to hand over trust to someone that has proven to misuse trust. First they must do rightly and prove themselves over time. Some may think that forgiveness means nothing without trust, but that is only because they do not understand punishment and forgiveness. God requires that we be punished for EVERY sin. If we do not receive forgiveness for our sins, then we are subject to the punishment. Just having the free gift of forgiveness is really more than we deserve when we sin. Expecting people to just hand trust back to us along with that forgiveness is just asking someone to lay themselves open to harm.


Look at it in this light. When we commit a crime, for instance murder, we are put on trial. With God as the judge the trial is short, because he knows all things and has all the evidence he needs to find you guilty. If found guilty the punishment is for life, no parole. Then Jesus steps in and says, "I paid the price when I died on the cross. I lived a perfect sinless life, yet, I was punished. Therefore, in return, I can forgive this guilty man and wash his guilt away." What does that mean? It means that the accused would not get life without parole, but would go free. He has been forgiven of his crime and pardoned. He has not been found innocent, after all he did the crime, however, he was forgiven all the charges. However, once that person is free, He is told, "Go, and sin no more." That indicates that while the guilty is no longer condemned, they now have a responsibility to prove themselves trustworthy by living a clean life. Trust isn't handed over like forgiveness is handed over. Trust is something that a person earns as they go about their lives obeying Jesus as they 'sin no more.' If you have made some messes in life, don't expect everyone that forgives you to just role over and hand trust to you as if you had never messed up. In time, if you live the right kind of life, those that do not trust you will come to believe in you again.

Don't expect someone to trust you if you have not earned that trust. If we live the kind of life that we should live, most people will come to trust in us again in time.



When Jesus was resurrected he told doubting Thomas see the scars in my hands and feet. Jesus had been resurrected but his scars remained. Sometimes our past can be like a wound that never heals. It is the wounds in life that cleanses the soul. The pain that we feel from our past mistakes helps to remind us NOT to make that same mistake again. Why would we want to rush ourselves to move past that? When we touch a hot stove we get burned. That pain and scar is a reminder to never touch a hot stove. In time wounds heal and the longer we move past our mistakes, doing the right kind of living, the more people their will be willing to trust us. I have often seen people guilty of gross sin critical of people and complain. They complain because all though they are forgiven, they find that many do not display complete trust in them. How many times have you heard someone say, "If they really forgave me they would have forgotten it and trusted me again." That is incorrect thinking. Forgiveness is a free gift, but trust is earned. Have you really earned the trust that you want from others, or are you wanting everyone else to do all the giving while you make idle promises that you haven't backed up with righteous living. Promising that you will do better in the future speaks volumes. But, actually living the life and keeping your promise is the thing that will actually bring the healing you seek.